Quote:
Originally Posted by BirdDancer
bpcyclist, I say there is nothing wrong with savoring a bit of more elated hypomania (or elevated "blip") for a change, as long as the beast is not fed and fed. I have been experiencing bouts of elated mood elevation lately, myself, which hasn't turned depressed, but often turns irritable in blips. And repeat. A bit of malaise finds itself in here and there in between, and then dissipates at the drop of a hat. Beethoven seems to be my elixir these past few days, but then the elixir becomes too stimulating and I figuratively fall down and bruise my butt. Boo!
I guess everyone can look at mood elevations in a different way. Certainly, the onset can be frightening if it had previously (and more recently) signaled a long-term issue that dangerously got out of hand, and maybe resulted in a crash deep in the opposite direction. But for me, unless the fire is fueled with that one shovel of coal after another (and a strong wind), the fire can seem bright and then lose its intensity, but just a bit. I have found that I can easily calm down to more of a happy stability easier than in the past. Whether or not I can do that at this precise time, I'm not sure, but I'm going to assume I can. At least that doesn't create a panic for me via catastrophizing. As long as I have an inkling of what's happening, I do have some modicum of control. I don't have a bonfire burning right now. It's more like a good fire in a wood stove. I can close the door and adjust the air intake a bit.
One can call me a stickler about terminology, and even criticize me for it, a bit. I know some have more than a few gripes about the DSM. But I do prefer to use my own terms "blips" and "mood elevation" rather than immediately label myself "hypomanic" or definitely not "manic" until that fire has started to burn a bit well beyond my best attempts at control. This is my choice and I find that, for me, it puts me more in control. It helps me avoid feeling at the mercy of the illness. This is not too unlike saying "I HAVE bipolar disorder" vs "I AM bipolar".
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Thanks for permission toe be temporarily elated, BD. I am trying to just ride it and not leave my apartment and start talking to random starngers, which I love to do. Has caused me some issues in the past, such as when I brought up transgender politics with a delightful transgender gal I did not, in fact know. I am a huge transgender supporter, of course, but, she did not know that and it was totally inappopriate in terms of boundaries and things.
So, I hve to be careful not to engage with others when I am like this, as I am very disinhibted and likely to share things I should not otherwise likely be sharing. I hve told the story before I believe of joining a bunch of dating sites one night while euphoric. I awoke next morning to all these texts and emails from all these admitteldy perfectly lovely you ladies. The only issue was taht I, in fact, had absolutely zero interest in dating or hooking up with anyone. In the least. I still get texts to this day!!!
I have never told this one before but, to show how dangerous it can be, when I was under indictment for my car wreck, I was completely manic for months and months. One day, I decided to call the chief district attorney of this city of nearly 3 million and just chat wiht him about my extremely inappropriate indictment. When the call-back came, as the phone was ringing in my hands, I suddenly basically received what I consider to be a very forceful message from God that taking that call was very, ver dangerous for me potentially. So, I did not answer. Had I talked to him, I have no doubt he would have charged me with some attempted bribery or influencing thing, perhaps, very apporpriately.
So, I have to be careful. Thanks!!