yeah, I guess one way or another, it will be some kind of journey!

I don't know if it will require surgery or not. the doctor my appt is with on Tuesday is actually an orthopedic surgeon! and it's a morning appt, so i'm hoping that means any additional tests or scans or imaging could get done that day. i'm not expecting a bunch of answers right away. but just some kind of info or a 'heads-up' direction so to speak. but things could take a while, as i also have what may or may-not be a second lump, not far from the first one!

and no, i've never had major surgery before. the only surgery i've ever had was like eight years ago - had a cyst removed from the top of my wrist joint. they just numbed my arm and i was awake the whole time. i could hear and smell things, and at times knew exactly what they were doing -> and i kept my pulse under 71-bpm the entire time!! of course, that was my pre-era (car-crash & 2 brain injuries) so i was in a ton less pain.

and i'm already taking medicine to help me sleep. [a sarcastic 'thank you head pain' ] my brain-injury journey is still continuing, now at 16-months and counting! plus the other 'journey' i'm still on -> can't do any more.

i just have an extremely small amount of fight left in me. a 'c' diagnosis would probably break me - to which i doubt i could recover!
and i AM all alone -> there is not a single person IRL that i could trust/lean on/'help' me! that realization is terrifying, especially with thoughts of 'new treatments' rolling thru my head!