Hey guys,

Hope you're all staying healthy to the best of your abilities.

Maybe some of you go through this as well. Four years ago several people died in my life within a few months time apart (one was suicide), dealt with drug dependence, other events occurred and around three years ago I had a psychotic attack I never fully recovered from. After the deaths I became more jumpy, but was in too much of a cloud to feel anxiety for issues that actually mattered. After the psychotic attack though, I have been afraid of absolutely EVERYTHING. A few other events happened that did not help.

I don't recognize this as part of my personality. My therapist and psych state the obvious. My super, family etc pretty sure are done with me being so nervous about everything.

At this point I think I am annoying everyone. But I don't know what to do about it. Breathing exercises and meditation have not worked. I want to go through trauma therapy but I am so scared of having another psychotic attack. I'm also too embarrassed to talk about things, even though it was nothing I did wrong. Part of me has a bit of resentment for being subjected to information when I was too young.

I suspect my previous roommates thought I was spoiled because I got scared of things around the house. But, that's not the case, I just don't adapt to my environment anymore. I used to be the most mediator in the home. Now everything feels like a threat.