Quote:
Originally Posted by newtus
I think I have that same issue U do. The awareness of my heart. Sometimes I feel like I have to make it manually function which is obviously not true but it’s an anxiety thing. And I gotta check it a few times a day. Make sure it’s not skipping beats n stuff.
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Yeah I think whenever I feel a "palpitation" (If that's what it really is - And not my chest muscles moving), I press certain parts of my chest in certain areas because I feel like I can control it by using the power of GOD and my MIND cuz of OCD or magical thinking..
I used to check my pulse 200-300 times a day but now I only check it 20-30 times a day. I put my finger in between my ribs or on my wrist and after a certain beat, I'm feel good enough to take my fingers off the pulse.... Sometimes it doesn't feel "just right" so I check it again (Even though I feel no palpitations - It's just how I feel about counting)..
If I live shorter, it's worth having the Vyvanse for quality of life.. I've learned not to take extra anymore though..
When I lie down, I feel my heart beating less and less until it goes "bloop".. And I think to myself "This is it.. This is how it ends"...
But I have to rest my mind often. Sometimes I feel a pressure and keep having to sit up and lie back down over and over again until I fall asleep from exhaustion - But that's only if I don't take my meds properly.
My childhood friend had open heart surgery. My mom is going to have to have it. My parents friend had a quadruple bypass. I don't think I have to worry about cholesterol though cuz I eat healthy.. It's just the rhythm... Beat beat beat.. That's all I want it to do..