Quote:
Originally Posted by busymomof5
My husband is a busy professional who has no understanding for mental health issues. He believes therapists are fraudulent andvshouldnt get paid. Hence I’m not allowed to see one. He will pay for psychiatry but complains about this.
Last night, he noticed something bothering me. I finally told him I was upset about being labeled bipolar 1 from bipolar 2. He asked why the change and I said I’d had some very delusional thinking. He asked if it was the witch thing and I said yes. He said he’d had a weird feeling about my behavior: witchy clothes and shoes, setting up an alter in my office, believing I was the most powerful witch on the planet, etc.
I thought he was being understanding. After watching a movie downstairs with the kids, he started making fun of me : “go get your mom’s broom (I have a witches broom) so she can ride her broom up the stairs tonight. She is a witch. “. My kids wanted to know what he was talking about. I feel so humiliated.
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Hi busymomof5 and welcome to PC's bipolar forum, if I missed welcoming you before.
I'm sorry that your husband is making fun of something so serious as delusions. That clearly reflects his ignorance about mental illness, and a real lack of understanding for your feelings. Has he even tried to learn more about your diagnosis? Has he picked up a book about it? Can you give him a book about it? If he is not willing to learn more, that would seem to be an additional lack of respect for you. You need someone to talk to about your diagnosis. A therapist is definitely a good person for that. Can you tell him that you feel he doesn't listen and that you need someone who does? I am assuming by your screen name that you work hard raising many children. You give to them and to your husband, he needs to give something extra to you, I think.
It concerns me a bit when you write that your husband "doesn't allow" you to see a therapist. Are you meant to be subservient to him? Is that how he views you? I imagine during this tough time, with your many responsibilities at home, that being more empowered is difficult, but I suggest you try a bit. As a married woman, though of course I care about my husband's thoughts and feelings, that doesn't mean I can't have my own and walk my own path, to varying degrees. I can say "no" to him, when I feel it best.
Here are a couple suggestions you can choose to take or leave:
1. Ask your psychiatrist to contact your husband and let him know that therapy is strongly recommended for you. Perhaps your psychiatrist can persuade your husband that therapy is not fraudulent.
2. Stand up for yourself and tell your husband that you plan to see a therapist, and that you will schedule an appointment to see one, regardless of his viewpoint. You are an adult and contribute greatly to the household. You do not need his permission for everything. Granted, if you believe such an empowered declaration would put you at some risk (abuse), perhaps discuss any risk of abuse with your psychiatrist. That's important! In some cases where there is risk of abuse, an abuser does not want the abused/controlled to discuss the issue with anyone else (like a therapist). That's their way of protecting themselves from being held accountable for it and/or losing some control that they want. Of course I don't know if this applies to you at all. If not, please ignore and forgive my bits about abuse. I'm also writing this to possible others out there reading this.