We are still doing video therapy. It is hard I miss just feeling the energy of being in the same room together, I miss the safety of feeling like she is holding the space, I hate not having the ride home to process and compose myself. I really miss her comforting hugs. I do also miss being her body language. She is quite expressive with her body language so it is harder to read her.

Yes. I understand all of the experiences you have listed. I feel exactly the same way; I could make a list of the same.

All that being said, I can't imagine where I would be without her right now. Within the last month I needed to make life or death decisions for a family member. I was alone in the decisions as well as it was very triggering of my childhood trauma. My therapist was there every step of the way to support me and then deal with the death of the family member. Because of her office setup, she as with most therapists around here, are apprehensive about doing in person appointments. So without video therapy I really would be on my own right now. Add that to not being able to see much of my other supports and away from the activities that bring me joy and connection, I eoudl be a complete mess.

That's the reality of therapy at this time, I think. That's why I ponder the question Are we pioneers or do we feel cheated? I guess the answer seems to be both...with the pandemic, we're the first people ever to find ourselves suddenly having to do teletherapy - and oftentimes feeling uneasy about that format.

Maybe looking at the bottom line is important (and I'm definitely referring to myself)...the bottom line being that we do have our therapy in place, even if it's not an ideal format for us.

Good for you for handling the loss of your family member! That took a lot of courage