((((((((((earthmama)))))))))))))

Boo for things all happening at once for you. That's rough... but it seems to happen that way for many people.

I'm glad you were able to be somewhat open with your therapist... that's always a tough step. I'm sorry about your sobriety and your bad coping mechanisms coming back... if it's any consolation, I do understand since I've messed up and done harmful things to myself when dealing with past issues and memories. It never does really seem to make it that much easier to deal with though...

You are not anything bad that you think you are... but that's another hard step/thing to come to terms with.

Maybe you can give your T this post, but try to remain in the same room this time? Tell them you need more support right now than what you're currently getting from them?