Welp. made it to 10 pm without any real sadness at all today. None, really. So bizarre after how awful I felt yesterday. And then, the florid mania the day before. No psychosis, though, which is great, of course.

I am grateful for today, I am. But I just don't understand what my brain is doing these days. Is this my new normal? Sort of unstable a lot, rapid fluctuations in mood and stuff. Dunno, really. Just dunno. But if it is, I will find some way through this. Somehow.

Have been looking at stopping my depakote maybe. Some people on the bp board call it depressakote, so, maybe my depression has been due to that or something. I might talk to the doc abou this and see what he thinks. The more we learn about lithium, the better we learn it is for depression, even unipolar. Way better than a lot of traditional antidepressants.So, maybe with the lithium and without the depakote I might feel better.