That was super-duper hard you know. i honestly didn't think i would be able to face you again. my guilt complex is one hell of a nasty beast that pulls me under so deep. you saw just how deep, that I wasn't even there for a few minutes. Who DOES live at the center of it?! I don't ****ing know but whoever he is scares the living hell out of me. You asked me how I finally got out of it, all I could think of was by sheer force of stubborn will. You asked what I saw - I said I did not see myself - but I felt oh how I felt and I did not like how I felt and I used my stubbornness to force myself to look at your face on my screen and to force my body to stop fidgeting and to push words out of my mouth even though the guilt monster was trying to clamp my mouth closed. Damn, L. That sucked. My shadow is terrifying. And now it is storming outside, how ****ing fitting. Thank you for sticking with me through that mess.