Hey there ,friend!

So happy to see you posting!
I am sorry you are not feeling better these days.
I also have some very quiet periods in my life. I often find I have poverty of thought when experiencing poverty of speech. In my case, my mind is not speeding, it is just quiet and when it is more difficult, I feel somewhat removed from everyone in the conversation.
I realize you have tried many meds/approaches to getting help with depression. I was thinking of you the other day and had decided I would ask a question or two when we met up again.
I am going to ask yet, I do not want you to feel you must reply here at all.
How is your energy level when so quiet?
Do you feel you might have some issues (trauma, etc) which might exacerbate your depression ? If so, have you had the chance to work with a therapist on these (if they exist)?
Have you ever experienced neurological symptoms, even intermittently? If so, have you had a thorough examination by a neurologist?
Have you had thorough medical work - ups, including comprehensive labs?
Have you had your thyroid function checked?
Liver function?
More than once? As in, are your overall labs monitored?
Some doctors believe some men are truly deficient in testosterone. While. theoretically, there could be many causes, many different environmental factors can play into this.
Many men take testosterone supplementation without labs to determine whether a real deficiency exists. All kinds of testosterone boosting supplements are heavily, and rather carelessly, advertised.
I am noting some of the possible harmful effects related to using these types of supplements when not under the care of a doctor.
Liver damage or failure can be related to the use of supplementation.
In some cases, altering the amount of testosterone in one's system can cause some severe mood changes, including periods of rage.
So, why would anyone what to check into testosterone supplementation?
It is possible, when there is truly a deficiency, some men again feel much better with careful supplementation.
These are just a few of the questions which have come to mind when I think of you and wonder why you have not had a truly helpful response to any of the typical psych meds?
It's entirely possible to have more than one condition going on. A man might have something like both testosterone deficiency and depression. Psych meds, alone would not address the whole picture.
So, just a few thoughts. I would enjoy seeing you enjoy your life more. I know how much you love your family and want to be present with and for them.
Again, please do not feel you should answer any of these personal questions here. I have included them merely as some food for thought.
It's great to have an update and to know you are hanging in with the ongoing challenges.
Much Love to You and to Your Family!
*** I am not a health professional. Please always check in with your doctor and/or pharmacist. ***