I think the one thing that will scare him away is to remind him of the fact that I have some degree of mental health issues.

He was alarmed by the fact that I see a therapist. I thought he was backing out once I let him know I had enough issues that I need to see a therapist, and was hospitalized before. He was suddenly very suspicious and had a lot of questions. For some reason, he seemed especially spooked by the fact that I'm in therapy. That was yet another thing that struck me as odd. I've come to think maybe he is afraid of my having someone I would confide in to about him. Once he knew that, I thought it was over then and there, three weeks and hundreds of emails ago.

I was thinking of telling him something like my therapist thinks I need ECT treatments again, and I wouldn't be available Thurdays because I'd be at the hospital (I was getting ECT treatments at one time).

I think this is the one thing I can play off of that wouldn't anger him, or hurt his feelings, and would scare him away at the same time.

I still think he's hot, I still think he's sexy. I'd like to have sex with him, but I think I've come to my senses. I simply can't go through with this. I've realized there is much more at risk than there is to gain.