How I honestly feel;

Fear: Of inevitable pain that will come. Things revolving around in my mind, pestering me - nagging "Pay attention to me" - I have to deal with them but there's only so much that I can deal with. It goes in episodes of thought that I am and can't control - It's just how I react to this perception that matters. People will misunderstand me and cause me harm - That's why they're all out to get me.. I feel like I always need to just explain myself because I like me.

Hope: Wanting things to be better - Just holding on. Maybe I'll be in a place in time and space where I can look at the stars again, listening to music or talking with someone/people and be ok.

Love: For myself, my family, my cat, nature, for the good parts of the world.

Confusion: That parts of my cognition aren't working properly - And that I'm unaware of how other people see me - Which is only ever how I know that I will see me. Certain things go right for me and others don't - If something changes, I have a disconnected feeling like "Oh no" or "Finally, it worked".

Tiredness: Exhaustion.. "When will I sleep? Dreams will haunt me and I have no choice". Burnt out. Internet, reality, all of the things that I do which haunt me moments later - And it all piles up.

Regret: We all have them. Might as well not think about them too much.

Sadness: This is a part of life where I have to think about the environmental factors, how to solve, how to let go and experience, make the best possible life, make sure others are ok in the process.