So you mentioned he went to AA and started seeing a therapist. This is a good start but it’s going to take time for him to learn healthier ways to handle his anger and stress. He cannot take his problems out on you. He has to learn he is not allowed to use you in any way as an emotional punching bag like a spoiled child who doesn’t understand boundaries.

I know for myself that I find out someone has issues with alcohol and the person blows up at me? I am done interacting with that person. And it’s best if that person thinks it’s their idea so it assures me they won’t bother me. No way do I care to deal with a person capable of blowing up into rage rant behaviors. Be it a person who drinks or stops on their own turning into what is called a dry drunk.

I had to learn not to let a person push buttons for me to mother too. That includes blowing up like a five year old child. I am not interested in hovering and babysitting. There is a difference between helping and supporting and mothering another adult as though they are a child.