I had one of these deep sessions yesterday. It left me feeling totally drained and very sad. It came up because in our previous session I had made an off-handed comment about something in my past. After that session, I started thinking more deeply about that time in my life and there was something I wanted to add to what I'd previously told him.

At the beginning of session, we chatted lightly for a bit then I brought up what I initially wanted to share. Then another detail I'd never shared came to mind and I started to tell him, but changed my mind. He prodded a bit, I started crying and I told him this detail that I'd always felt ashamed about, even though it was only about calling someone on the phone. This turned into a retelling of the whole series of events. There was another part of the story that I'd left out previously, so I told him that part of it too. There were lots of tears and pain and hurt on my side and I could feel plenty of empathizing on his. He told me that people had let me down and I'd been really alone with this. He let me stay an extra five minutes.

I hadn't really intended to get into it so deeply, but that's what happened. There have been other times that I knew I was going to go deep. One in particular, I emailed him that morning and asked if he was up to it that day and asked if we could burn a candle as a way to make the environment more relaxing. He couldn't burn the candle (he said other clients had complained when he burned one previously), but he was very welcoming and offered to adjust the lighting and temperature if I wanted. So sometimes it can be helpful to plan and discuss it ahead of time.