My apologies. I did not mean to upset anyone. I may not have phrased my thoughts clearly. My thinking was meant to convey, that when there is a good marriage, which involves a caring partner and having each other's back, and facing life's problems together... there are advantages. One of them is that there is more money coming into the household, another is having someone to be there so that you don't have to rely on strangers or friends to help.

This reminds me of after my first husband died. I needed to have a medical procedure and it required that someone stay with me after I was released. The person had to sign a form stating that they would not leave me alone and assuming liability in the event something happened if I were left alone. I called two or three friends but no one wanted to take off from work to stay with me. I called a home health aide company but they refused to sign the form. Eventually I gave up trying to find someone to do it and just didn't have the procedure done. At the time I was thinking that this was one of the things I very much missed about my husband. I don't think that makes me child-like. A very strong and capable friend has faced the same issue when she needed the same procedure. I wound up staying with her because I know just how difficult it can be to find someone willing.

I also think about our former neighbors across the street. They are in their 80's. His wife is bedridden and he is there to help her dress, and to help her with things that she cannot do due to advanced age. She has it a lot easier than our neighbor who was to the left of us. They were also in their 80's but one night her husband died, and she had no one to help her with the daily living activities that she could no longer perform. Eventually her family realized she was in trouble and got her into assisted living.... but what would have happened to her if she could not afford assisted living, or if no one had realized she needed help because she couldn't get to a phone?

These are just things I think about because they require an extra plan for that possible eventuality.