Dear T,
I feel like you care more about my well-being than my H does. Or at least you consider aspects of it that likely wouldn't even occur to him. I know you're a professional, so it's more natural for you to consider some of that stuff. I still think it's a problem. Not in the sense of ET, because I think I generally don't have that toward you, aside from fleeting moments. But more in the sense of...my H *should* consider some of that stuff. He should be more concerned about my emotional well-being. You don't react that much to my crying, but you still seem to react more than he does. I'm pretty sure I've seen you wipe away tears in response to things I've said, most recently today. I haven't seen H do that, even if I'm sitting here on the couch sobbing.

H yelled at me tonight (and at D), so that's likely coloring some of this. My brain jumps to emailing you, but it's a holiday weekend, and we just had an email exchange Wed-Thurs. I'll just try to tell myself what I think you'd say to me. And then maybe we can talk about it Monday, unless more pressing matters have come up by then.


And, OK, I keep thinking about how you looked almost stricken when I said how I appreciated what you said in the email, how I'm not alone and how I read that to be how this is affecting so many people, and that I appreciate you suggesting that it's affecting you, too. I would have discussed what I sensed from your reaction, but it was the end of session on a holiday weekend. Still, I guess I just wished you'd said, "I'm glad it was helpful." I feel the times you reveal some of yourself, put yourself out there a bit, it's like I need to just appreciate it without acknowledging it to you. I wish you could just understand and accept how it helps me, without making it into some other thing. Because if I say something, then you might get all weird. It's OK to let yourself out there a bit. It doesn't make this like it was with ex-MC. It's a very different relationship. And I value it.
Love,
LT