I was watching a netflix show about genetics, was looking up if I got an infection from heroin 3 years ago, then looking at different types of philosophies.

Everything is pushing against me but I'm going to keep going on and on. I won't give up.

For the first time, I'm not afraid of another panic attack. I'm not afraid of anything. If I get one, so be it. I'll sort it all out.

My panic attacks I'm sure would last 12 hours if I don't take a benzo. And I know that I'd beg for mercy and say "I'm going to die", end up in the ER, they'd stabilize my blood pressure, say "you're fine".

It's nonsense. But I have to make sense of it all. I've ignored a lot of notifications online already - But I'm going to open them and take what ever reality throws at me. I don't care.

I'll make a plan and do something. I'll ignore all of the people that want to harm me - People are doing their things together. I'll do my things.

A friend recommended that I switch my browser to a better one so I'm gonna organize all of my passwords cuz I have like 100+ passwords that I don't remember. I'm just gonna do things slowly and not rush - Enjoy what I'm doing in the moment.

JB Peterson was released from rehab to come off of clonazepam so I'm gonna watch the hour podcast that he made on benzo addiction.