Oh I am not saying you have to question him at all. I totally understand why you wouldn’t want another fight. I just think of an explanation of his seemingly nice behavior. Maybe I misunderstood. You keep saying you feel guilty when he is nice and loving. I personally think he is nice and loving because you don’t do anything to displease him. So no reason to feel guilty. Most abusers are nice and loving when everything is done to please them. In each example when he was nasty to you, if you did what he wanted and didn’t question him, he’d be nice and loving. But it’s just not the way to live imho.