Wow! I just finished reading all of your threads, including the feedback. I'm truly sorry to hear about your situation. It's not an easy task, when it comes to ending and leaving an abusive relationship.

I think that it's really brave of you to take the position that you're in. When you're done, you're done. You're through with the rollercoaster ride, the nasty insults and accusations, as well as being hit. Who could blame you for that?

I'm going to tell you this, not to scare you, but to prepare you. The most dangerous time in an abusive relationship is when you try to leave.

So, have an emergency "grab bag". Put essentials in this bag, i.e a change of clothing, pjs, under garments, some meds if you take them. Put this bag in your trunk, or a closet where he won't find it.

Have someone you trust, preferably a protective male, with you when you do this.

Make sure that EVERYTHING is in place. Or at least as much as you can. This includes divorce lawyers and papers if possible, a protection from abuse order. Although it's "only a piece of paper", I know that in my state, if they violate it, it's a felony, rather than a slap on the wrist. Have a plan for any belongings left behind. Take pictures with a newspaper to show condition it's being left in. Make arrangements with the police to pick up your belongings. NEVER, be alone with him after you have left.

Above all, remember that this is what needs to be done for your own safety. Who likes living in minefields? Yes. He's probably going above and beyond to get you to be compliant. He's going to keep on being sweet if you are distant. Distant is not compliant. He's manipulative. Do whatever you have to, to keep yourself safe. There's no judgment here, and don't harshly judge yourself. If you were doing whatever you had to in order to survive, let's say a bear attack. Do you think that anyone would say "That mean woman! She was supposed to be the bear's meal!" And anyone who dares to judge you, shouldn't be given the time of day.

Please stay strong. Please keep posting updates. I'll continue to pray for you.