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Old Jul 04, 2020, 04:36 PM
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ScarletPimpernel ScarletPimpernel is offline
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Member Since: Nov 2013
Location: US
Posts: 9,021
Quote:
Originally Posted by feileacan View Post
My personal experience is that it is possible to work through it. What does it look like? It feels as if the hole that you have inside you now has been closed. In that place, where there currently is the intense longing, will be the quiet feeling and firm knowledge that you are and have been held in someone's mind. And then you don't need the physical presence of that person anymore, in technical terms you have internalized her and she has become part of you. Then, when feeling upset, you can draw calmness from that internalized presentation of that person from inside yourself.
I think that one of the reasons why I struggle with transference is because I struggle with object consistency, so it's really hard for me to internalize my therapist. But I think that's why she's more than happy to be repetitive with her reassurances and also why she's okay with transitional objects. Both allow me be able to hold onto her better.
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