Exhausted post;

So, when I went through my bad trip, when it started to take effect, it was like I was being physically turned inside out, having gasoline poured on me and falling down a cliff of poison Ivy and knives - On fire.

Now, I feel like normal people go through this regularly.. But it can't happen to me anymore because I feel like it damages my brain - Unless it's necessary for growth? I remember sitting through a chat of toxic people posting pepe gifs - And I feel all of the hate that they give to minorities and their careless existence, sociopathy and narcissism.

I'm an empath. I'm not even really supposed to be learning anymore it seems. Instead I just need to heal people - But I have to go for the strenuous battle of turning my mind inside out for what meaning? I suppose I should finish that book. People have been through crazy trauma and still manage to function.. Why? Because they let people know about what's going on inside their minds (MDMA talk therapy allows people to open up for example).

And all of the exhaustion - Of the self, the world, the pure madness.. I suppose that I should just let go and surrender to shame, guilt, people taking advantage of me and controlling me and just never give up.