Nothing, really.

It was eerie how he asked to speak to me out of nowhere and for no particular reason minutes after I had written about him here.

And I'm still writing to him. Full fledged plans for sex and everything.


I can't lose my therapist. The fall out would be huge. And I need him.


I don't know how I could continue to see him without being able to talk about this guy. There's no way I could keep this from him.


I curse myself for bringing up that Halloween incident. He just barely consented to my seeing the guy before I brought that up at the last minute. At the same time, I can't blame him giving me an ultimatum.


I may be naive, but I think there is at least a 50-55% chance this guy is not a a predator. At least that he wouldn't rape or murder me.


He definitely has some kind of undiagnosed mental health issue.


He's still coming on strong with all these plans for our future. The already guy had me in his bed, cuddling and making out with me, completely nude...I've continued to tell him I'm only interested in a casual sexual relationship (with maybe a sprinkling of friendly, non-sexual activties...)


Isn't that all a predator would want? Someone who will traipse over to their big, rambling, isolated home in an area they are not at all familiar with, and who is willing let them have their way with them?


He's talking camping at Joshua Tree and at the Yosemite, going on a gay cruise, visiting San Francisco...Referring to himself as my boyfriend.


The minute I show disinterest in any of this, he says he's not really serious, that he is just thinking of 'what may come to be'. Apologizing for coming on too strong. He's continually flip-flopped like that since I began talking to him.


He's also pushing hard for me to at least spend the night.


He's not getting or doesn't care how difficult it would be for me to explain to my parents that their depressed 31 year old with zero relationship experience is suddenly having a love affair, but to please not ask too many details...


Why is he making this more complicated than it already is? I don't get it.



By the way, today he actually offered to speak to my therapist. In person. He insists it be in person


I told him he had some concerns about my safety. He became really upset because he's wondering what I could have told him to arouse his suspicions. Until a few hours ago--when he texted me a picture--I thought we were through.