I'm going to be brutally honest here. Please know, that I'm giving you my honest opinion based on your entire thread.

You start off with the fact that you have a lot of issues, yet refuse to even name them. That's your choice. However, with all the information that you have given, it would be very helpful, since I'm sure that they play a role in all of this. It's really important to understand how our brains work and how they react to different situations.

You talked about how you were bullied in school. I'm sorry to hear that.

A common problem that you bring up, is people thinking that you're horrible and/or disturbed. You say that no one gives you any answers to why. What's their response when you ask? In fact you even left a therapist who you thought didn't like you. Did they say or do something? Are you self reflecting about situations? Do you run the situation by someone else to see if it lines up? The more one self reflects, the better they are able to understand themselves.

As for your "friend/lover", the blame does not solely rest on him. You started off saying that you're good with "one day a week". You said that it was him that wanted more. And he gave you his time. Now that the situation changed, you have quite a gripe.

He has very sick parents. I'm not sure what country you live in, but I can tell you that the coronavirus is NOT a scare. It's definitely scary! It's also very contagious, as well as deadly. Not to mention, having an underlying illness, only makes it worse. So, it's very clear, responsible, and understanding, why they don't really want anyone in their home.

I took care of a sick parent. It wasn't asked of me, I willingly did it. Why? I love them. They took care of me, now they were in need of my help. It can be depleting, in more ways than one. (i.e mentally, physically, and emotionally) If he's going to be any use to anyone (including himself), he's going to need to take care of himself. You mentioned that you were worried about his health, and yet you're tired of his whining. He's a guy. I don't know about you, but in my experience, they didn't just go because I wanted them to.

You brought up how he should just leave you if he doesn't want to be with you. You have the same power, yet you won't because you are scared of being alone. Sometimes it's a good thing to be alone. That way a person has time to get comfortable with themselves, while learning about themselves and what they want.
You could also use the alone time, to find a therapist who you feel comfortable with. It takes time to find the right one.

You feel that he wasted your time. Was there ever any talk about marriage? Cause it sounds like more of a friendship with benefits. Either way, you also have chosen to stay. You could have walked away when you had prospectives, yet you stayed.

Just to let you know where I'm coming from, I was once like you. I was in a relationship, he told me that I was his "soulmate", that he's never felt like that about anyone, and that he couldn't wait to marry me. Fast forward 2.5 years, and I was now out of an abusive relationship. I felt that I was used, and that he wasted my time. Then I had to remember...I chose to stay. I could've left, but I didn't. I had to own my part. Once I did, I wasn't so angry anymore.

I'm not trying to be mean or hurtful. Withholding the truth doesn't help you grow. I wish you only the best and I hope that your life turns around.