I'm so very sorry for what is happening with your wife. Hugs. To answer your question, everyone handles grief and loss in their own way. Some may grieve during the process and before someone has passed, and some may hold out and wait until after a funeral, or even long after a funeral. Grief hits people at different times and in different ways. Can she hear you talking to her? If so, you may want to think about things you wish to say to her? How much she is loved, how you've cherished your time together and hold her hand? I'm so sorry. Allow yourself to grieve. It's a hefty loss, losing one's spouse. I agree that she shouldn't be in pain, being in hospice care. Is there anything they can do??