I would like to get opinions of others on whether or not this should upset me. It concerns gift giving to my long awaited grandchild who lives out of state. I am a 72 yr old woman, of moderate means, and as all grandparents do, I enjoy sending gifts at Christmas, birthdays, and occasionally just because. When they arrive in the mail, my son & daughter-in-law like to put the gift(s) aside unopened and it becomes part of the stockpile of toys, books, & crafts they can pull out when he is bored. This often means it is weeks or months before it is opened. This has taken away a lot of the joy of giving a gift. It seems to apply to all gifts to either of them, and from all gift givers. It was annoying before – when it was just the two of them – but now for my grandchild, it makes me feel angry and very disappointed.

My mailed Christmas gift – 3 pair of matching Ugg bedroom slippers (not cheap) got opened end of February. A toy I sent this spring was opened 2 weeks later – retrieved from the “stash”. A birthday gift for May 29 is still not opened as of today – 5 wks later. Gifts I have given – some are nowhere in sight when I come for visits.

This is how I feel gift giving should go down. The Giver wants to give a gift, thinks about an item that is needed or fun, shops for it, pays for it, and delivers it. The role the Receiver of the gift should play is to then open it in short order and express appreciation and/or excitement for the gift. It is what makes gift giving fun.

Earlier this year, I had determined that I would give my grandchild gifts only when I come to visit and give them to him myself, but now unable to travel because of covid, this is not possible.

My son & I have a good, close relationship but trying to explain how I feel seems to make him very defensive and annoyed and he obviously feels justified to wait on gift opening. It appears this is a mutual decision with his wife but I’m not sure he doesn’t just go along with what she decides. Apart from this being a disappointment, I think it is rude, actually.

How should I feel? How should I handle this? I would greatly appreciate feedback.