I stayed in bed this afternoon until 4pm. I could have gotten up but I feel like every day is the same and I'm a bit depressed - I'll try to read a bit of that book today about search for meaning. 40 minutes after I took the Vyvanse, I was able to move more freely - It's like my thoughts are disconnected from the rest of my body when I'm not on Vyvanse and it's way too comfortable to just stay in bed.

I just drank a coffee because I think I'm getting a bit of caffeine withdrawal (I drink a really strong cup every afternoon but haven't been for a few days) - Started feeling weak with an uncomfortable form of headache or brain fog.

Tomorrow I see my doctor about the scar tissue on my shoulders and what I should do about the Invega injections.

Then I'm going to talk about how the diazepam taper worked until I started taking an alprazolam almost every evening. I'm going to tell him about my weed induced depersonalization and derealization panic attack I had where I took 1mg of alprazolam and went to sleep.

I'll just need diazepam but to take AS NEEDED this time and not every night. 5mg of diazepam works for me as good as 0.5mg of alprazolam.

I don't want to have benzo brain - Lacking memory and such. I have enough cognitive issues as it is.