I have multiple conditions and I've been in therapy for over 15 years with different types of Ts, but it's been no help and each condition only gets worse. General DBT and CBT Ts have said I need to see someone who specializes in PTSD or OCD or ADHD since they are so bad. I go to a T that specializes in one and they eventually say something about how my other conditions are preventing me from getting better, but aren't able to help with those others. My conditions are so intertwined its feels impossible to get help. I need some advice about where to start so I can start making some kind of progress. Can someone please suggest where I could start, like what kind of T do I see to start feeling some improvement? What condition do I start treating first? Here are my conditions:

PTSD: had two near-death health traumas over 20 years ago. Since then, I jump and my heart pounds at every noise (can't even have a phone ringtone). I can't sleep in the dark, only lights on. I can't be at home alone. I have nightmares at least once a week about bad, graphic, violent things happening to me to the point I stress about sleep. My whole life I have been told to just ignore these things. I started seeing a PTSD T last year, but they had me re-tell my traumas and symptoms and said now that I've told them, I should “live differently.” They have no answer to HOW to live differently given the fear symptoms. They said maybe my OCD is too strong for me to improve on the PTSD so for months, all they will do with me is meditations every session to make the OCD “go away.” It's done nothing.

OCD: I have really severe OCD, in almost every single way you can. I have to count things, go through rituals, say prayers, avoid certain words, fear I might unintentionally harm myself or others, etc. I amdo an extreme hoarder and my living space is challenging to live in. One OCD T flat-out said they couldn't work with someone this bad. Another OCD said they had never seen such severe OCD in their over 20-year career and then spent 2 months with me trying to figure out where to begin because they said I had “so much.” They eventually said my PTSD was really bad and it was impossible to treat my OCD without treating my PTSD first so said I need to go to a PTSD T.

Anxiety: I have GAD and social anxiety. It's all that you'd expect with these. I feel non-stop anxiety from the moment that I wake up. Having to do anything ups my anxiety and I feel like vomiting. My vision goes black around the edges anytime I need to talk to others, etc.

ADHD : I haven't been formally diagnosed with this, but several Pdocs and Ts have said they think I have this. I can't concentrate on a single thing for more than a few minutes and it takes me forever to get a simple task done it takes others minutes. I just lost another job because in an 8-hour workday, I couldn't get a single spreadsheet done. I would get distracted constantly over having to send an email or google the latest thing that came into my head or I'd find myself staring into space for an hour without noticing. I'd constantly mess up because I couldn't keep track of information and I would lose files so every task would require me to start over multiple times.

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So I'm here with all of my conditions continuing to get worse despite over 15 years of continuous therapy and the feeling like no one can help.

Edit: Medication: I forgot to add about medications. That's another problem. I've been on 30+ at this point and not a single one has worked and I got pretty bad side effects from each one I took. I've gone from Pdoc to Pdoc and they seem to be stumped why not a single one can bring relief.