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Jul 06, 2020, 01:35 PM
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Member Since: Jul 2019
Location: Downtown Vibes, California
Posts: 15,701
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Quote:
Originally Posted by wanttoask
thank you for your response - yes, i do enjoy being a grandmother. I had to wait a loooooong time. It is my first grandchild and I am 72. I think the idea of gift card or cash is a good one - but for later years, maybe about 7 or 8 yrs. How can you go wrong with a water table, push toys, blocks, books, and the like?!!. No 2 year old is going to grasp the concept of cash and his parents both have very high powered six figure incomes and my little cash gifts would feel insignificant. I want him to remember grandma gave him a kite, or sandbox toys, or some such that I can watch him enjoy. I may sound like I am resistant to suggestions - I''m not - I take it all under consideration. This is my first experience with PsychCentralForums and I am so appreciative for the feedback.
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I feel so bad for you. I am 57 and if I ever become a grandma (big "if"), it will be much later in my life. My grown children are both heavily into their careers and are financially far more well-off than I've ever been. I've thought about gifts, should I ever have a grandchild. No way could I financially compete with their parents. I don't know what I'd do, except take the child to visit special places.
I didn't realize that your grandchild was only 2. When my children were growing up they were taught to write thoughtful thank-you notes to every person who gave them a gift, for any occasion. Good luck finding kids who are taught that nowadays. But, things change. Kids Face Time with grandparents now.
If you've been very clear with your son about this, and he still resists, all I can think of is speaking with both your son and DIL when you can all be together. Voice your feelings in a way that they feel respected, but that you also make clear.
If they refuse to change I don't see anything you can do, not, at least, until your grandchild is older. It comes down to what divine posted...can't change them, can only change yourself. If you don't work on changing yourself, accept that you will feel bitter and resentful - which is not a gift you want to leave your grandchild with 
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