This is always a dilemma on social media. I've signed into a number of different forums, in the past, only to decide I just didn't fit in. And so I left. There are a couple of forum-type websites I currently visit regularly as a guest now. And I sometimes think about joining. But then I think: oh I'd probably just end up feeling uncomfortable & not fitting in. So I don't. I don't know what the answer is to this problem. But I do understand the crippling confusion you feel. My best wishes to you...