My sister divorced a rageaholic, abusive narcissist. Her ex was a bit worse than my husband. She did exactly as I am doing now: pretend everything is ok while you secretly plan your exit. Her advice was to do what I feel like in the moment. If that means sex, have sex. If it means a concert, go to the concerts. If it means backing off and distancing, then do that. I liked this approach because it’s exactly what I am doing and exactly how I’m feeling.

He’s going to be enraged regardless. He’s going to be a monster regardless. If I have contradictory behaviors and emotions, I think it only makes sense when you’re exiting a marriage from someone you used to adore and love.