I am worried about my mental health and my ability to move forward.

The point is because of the pandemic I have not been able to find work. I have been living isolated in a studio apartment for 15 weeks.

My research has uncovered that there is NO AFFORDABLE HOUSING in my area while there is a high cost of living.

I have no friends or relatives here. Only my ex who remarried and lives an hour away in a big house enjoying a secure, enriched retirement.

I am certainly not going to end up homeless in the same area where he is all comfy and happy after leaving me with nothing. I would rather be dead.

As well...I tried to get medication for anxiety from my doctor because I keep having spikes of anxiety and she would rather I use holistic modalities like exercise and meditation. Having these constant anxiety spikes interferes with my ability to function but my doctor won't prescribe me proper medication.

Should I stay in a state where I cannot afford my present rent...or take a chance and move 2,000 miles away where the cost of living is lower?

Frankly I don't know how I am going to survive. I am in a crazy crazy crazy situation.

On top of which my mental health isn't great.

On top of which I am entirely alone 24/7.

Maybe I will just sign off again and come back if and when I have managed to move to my new location.

Every day I wake up to my worst nightmare: broke, alone, sick (asthma) and high risk for Covid, and unable to access resources in my community, and unable to afford where I live. No friends or family nearby. It's crazy making.

I am taking a chance to make things better. It's a big risk to move 2,000 miles on credit to a place where I don't have all my ducks in a row.

I have lived in the same town for 25 years. It is insane to be moving now under these conditions.

I am sorry. I have these spikes of anxiety and no way to treat them but exercise. Waiting for the sun to go down then will go out for a long walk.