Been there. Done this.

My boyfriends favorite was to go out drinking (he's a recovering alcoholic) with this stinkly, lethargic, alcoholic old man and he would do the "not call, not come home" thing. Twice he took of in MY TRUCK!!!!!!!!

So, guess what. You no longer get to use my truck. I threw him out and back to his "mama's" house on December 4, 2007 and I have REFUSED to let him move back in.

He's pulled the outing thing once since then. My response to that was, "you better come up with a plan to do something about it, it better be good, and it better be quick."

He's now joined A.A.

So it's a step in the right direction. TIME will tell if it's for real or - if it's just an appeasement to me.

I also made him remove all of his race cars from the shop where the old man works. And have asked him to sever all contact except for his parts needs for the shop (my boyfriend owns an auto parts business). Thus far it has worked well.

Start taking what you can away. When he asks to borrow the money back, I'd say, "well when you didn't come home the other night, I got online and dontaed it to X organization, or, I decided to go shopping, or SOMETHING. Tell him you spent it.

Cook enough for yourself. Not him. Say well, I never know when you say you're gonna be home - you sometimes don't show up and I don't want food going to waste.

I'd say withdrawl little things. Stop doing his laundry. Stop doing nice things for him. When he goes out - don't call more than once. (I learned that). Sometimes I found the withdrawl of affection helps to but that's just a personal experience.

I think the important part is to just go on and do what you do - and act like it doesn't even bother you. It's kind of like a dog relentlessly barking - they want to get your attention. Some of the best dog trainers to say if you don't pay them attention - eventually they realize they're getting nowhere and they stop on their own.

Go on with YOUR life. Start going to bingo, or to the mall, or do your own outings. Turn the tables. I've done that to. I have been known to be making a short trip to town and staying at the mall all day.

***GOOD LUCK****