I’m so sad. I texted my brother just to say hi because I haven’t talked to him since my Nana’s funeral. He never texted me back. There, he said we should get together because he doesn’t care about the virus since we’ve all been isolating. His wife was more hesitant. However, they have had her brother and his girlfriend over, and I noticed on fb that they went to her aunt’s on the Fourth of July. He’s also out fishing at the shore, which means they’ve been going to her parent’s house. I just don’t understand why he doesn’t want to see me. Why does he go everywhere with his wife and not even invite me to his house? We live ten minutes from each other.

He always claims he loves me more than anything and he wants to see me, and then it’s radio silence unless I reach out, and then it’s still silence. The last time I saw him back in January, he said he wanted RS to go fishing with him over the summer. Yet here it is July, and nothing.

It just hurts me. I know he needs serious help. Him and his wife are in an enmeshed co dependent relationship and they are both very obviously alcoholics. Yes, high functioning, but it’s clear. They spend their weekends getting absolutely plastered. Not just a little drunk. And I know at least he drinks during the week too, I just don’t know to what extent.

I just wish he would get help. He’s so messed up from our childhood. His wife says he wants a male therapist but there aren’t any. That’s a lie. If he really wanted a therapist I could direct him where to go. There are male therapists at my program.

She’s always in his ear. Anything I say to him will be told to her, and she will interpret it as she feels fit, and make him believe her side. She’s turned him against my family. I get that he doesn’t want to talk to my mom. She hurt him very much and he’s not ready for it. But why not me? Why not our grandmother? She’s really suffering right now and I dint think he even knows. She raised us when my mother couldn’t. She even paid the down payment and closing costs for their house. AND paid for the heating system to be installed. Doesn’t that warrant at least a phone call?

I feel so saddened. I wish he wouldn’t just completely ignore his side of the family. I didn’t do that when I bailed out with my late husband, ESPECIALLY not when my son was born. I had huge problems rectifying my childhood but I got help. He won’t even try because he thinks all he needs is his alcoholic wife.

I know I can’t help him unless he wants to help himself. But I fear he never will.