Hey guys,
So — a few more days until I start work. By next Friday I should have my first paycheck and that’s really gonna help out. I *may* be in luck on a living situation so I can stop living out of my car. So I’m glad that’s working out. A friend of mine is actually going to loan me some money to get through until payday. I feel so much more comfortable about things now. Even if I don’t have a place to stay at least I have some funds for gas. I still have non-perishable food so I don’t have to waste money there. I’m gonna be ok: my outlook is positive. Hell, I may be homeless but I’m doing a lot better than worst case scenario. I have a car at least and a job . I’m gonna be fine. If nothing else I can try an extended stay hotel for awhile. Louisville is right on the northern edge of Kentucky so Indiana and Ohio are right across a bridge . I hear hotels are much cheaper there. We’ll see. Technically I’ll work in Indiana.

Another note — I have a new therapist and psychiatrist. I was surprised how quickly we got all that set up and got me in to see them. I still have my old therapist who I communicate through emails with. I’m not giving him up; but the new therapist is kind of different. She’s so darn hard to read. She always looks confused when I talk. I mean I can say hello and she looks confused. She always answers appropriately and even says back sometimes things I’ve said so I know it’s not she can’t understand me... she just doesn’t give indication that I’m even answering the question or she’s understanding. She’s not bad at all, just that’s something I’m having a hard time with— I kinda like acknowledgement during the conversation that someone is following.

The psychiatrist was much more thorough and invested in me than my previous one. We did the whole evaluation thing and we made some changes to my meds. He was ok with most of them except abilify. He switched it out for seroquel. I also asked him to take me off Klonopin. It was PNR and they didn’t help me. So he happily did that, you know how doctors are cautious about controlled substances.

So my concern about seroquel is weight gain. I’m gonna give it a real try, but I’m nervous about that. This is day 1 and I’m not having many problems. I don’t feel “groggy” but my limbs for awhile did feel very heavy but my mind feels clear, I just feel I’m calmer. In fact if that’s how it’ll make me feel it may help with my anxiety a whole lot. I’ve been working of some “exposure therapy” — especially with driving in a city and using the interstate. I really hate merging and trying to get to my exit. Today I think partially because of practice and partially because of the medicine I felt calm. So, that’s good.

Any experiences with seroquel you wanna share? I’m happy to hear about it.

Other than that. I’m just truckin’ along. I’m sunburnt from spending most my days in parks or walking, but it’s not too bad. I often go in stores just to cool off. Just a few more days right? And hopefully my plan comes together and I can stay somewhere soon.

Keep me in your thoughts and prayers.

MarcusAurelius