I don’t think the point is that relationship “should” be certain way. If you are happy and content, then it doesn’t matter what other people think how it should be. If you aren’t content then it becomes an issue for you. It doesn’t matter what other people think, other opinions are just that, opinions.

Of course people could change and you could give him a chance. If you do go to therapy there is a long list of issues that might need to be addressed. These issues are interconnected. It’s not just him keep yelling or calling you names. Pot addiction snd relying on pot to function, physically restraining you, not pulling his weight financially, being always sick and unable to do any activities yet not seeing a doctor, saying mean things, yell and call you names, being irresponsible, because you spend on money on him you are not saving anything for the future or old age etc etc there is more.

I think it’s more than first year wasn’t a bliss, he doesn’t sound like a person with whom marital bliss is possible. That’s how he was first 47 years of life. He’d have to make a complete turn around to be a good husband. To be a different person, mature and responsible and so on. Is it possible? I don’t know. Maybe. It depends on what you are ok with.

Sure I’d call a therapist if he suggests it. Just don’t let him control what’s being discussed in there