Yes I have experienced this. The overall message I get from my T is that as a child, how people treat you can’t be your fault. The adults that failed us failed themselves by not dealing with their issues and passing them on to us in various ways.

We all have the capacity to be a horrible ugly person, or an amazing beautiful person. I believe it’s our choice which to be at any time. You are good enough and you didn’t deserve to be abandoned. I don’t feel like your therapist would abandon you even if she saw the darkest parts of you, my T has been great with it.

Yes, my T says similar things often. He waited until we had a really strong relationship before trying it and it was less direct at first. At this point in our work I have come to trust him enough to believe him most of the time when he says things like that. I usually find it comforting and slowly healing. I have also learned that if I need to hear something from him I can ask him for it. I ask in general terms so that it is his wording. He has told me once that he couldn’t say what I wanted to hear but offered to tell me what he did feel OK saying... it worked out really well. But it takes time and lots of trust.