I got a divorce after 31 years of abuse ; I know how much courage it takes to leave. Glad that you aren't telling him anything. Abusers are all alike, they are excruciatingly insecure and take no responsibility for their behavior. I found one "secret"---and that is I stopped responding to the abuse; they constantly want and need you to explain yourself; they are emotional vampires. Loving thoughts to you, xo