i have been suffering with incontinence for several years both urinary and fecal. i have these conditions as a result of my self harm behavior.

my self harm is a mystery because i don’t know why i do it. but i am driven by something inside me that seems a bit like a personality such as in DID or it could be a demon (though i don’t really believe in demons

but in addition to the self harm and incontinence this personality is insistent on having me a woman or feminine when i’m actually male. this too i do not understand. it could be that it is an attempt to harm psychologically as well.

this all creates a nightmare when it comes to dealing with incontinence. each incident is like a new episode of self harm and i’m not really sure how i can handle it.

i feel as if the other force in me simply wants me to be female and it suggests that by cooperating, i will find that dealing with all the other issues will become more managable.

how can i know if this thing is telling me the truth or a lie? i feel that the sexuality thing is an assault on me, but am i lying to myself and should consider something in the realm of transsexuality?

this is so confusing. i hope what i’m posting here is not too far away from the intent of the thread but i need to talk about this and it seems so difficult to find the right place. hoping this is ok. hoping for some replies/thoughts... thanks.