Ok, time for a new thread with a new topic.

He now has acknowledged that he has been abusive, that he mirrors his father's own explosive and abusive traits, and he wants (says he wants) to make important and necessary changes in order to keep our marriage in tact.

We FIRST have to find a GOOD couples counselor.

I am wary, however. Of everything. And I am skeptical. This will take time, commitment and effort on his part. And will he truly be willing to put in the work necessary to keep our marriage together?

So, my questions are: what do I expect from couples counseling? Is there a certain approach I should take?

I want to lay out the issues very honestly, and I also need to expose and discuss ALL the issues that are at play.

I also need to be willing to work on myself, and accept any responsibility that I need to accept for issues I've caused.

Anyone have experience with couples therapy who can give me some pointers?

Also, importantly: I don't think he will manipulate, deny or refuse to take responsibility at this point and through therapy. He was very receptive to everything I had to tell him that he does the other night when we talked. And he offered to go to therapy in order to improve and resolve the issues he has.