When one of the partners is abusive, it is rarely a good idea to go to couples counseling, because the abuser needs to work on their issues first by themselves. Perhaps in this situation (your husband) admitting he has a problem etc.....might work. If he tries to manipulate, etc., a good therapist will recognize this. My (now ex) went to couples counseling and it was a disaster; I did get a divorce after 31 years of abuse. Unfortunately some therapists (who aren't well versed in the dynamics of abuse, can miss what is going on.