Quote:
Originally Posted by nicoleflynn
When one of the partners is abusive, it is rarely a good idea to go to couples counseling, because the abuser needs to work on their issues first by themselves. Perhaps in this situation (your husband) admitting he has a problem etc.....might work. If he tries to manipulate, etc., a good therapist will recognize this. My (now ex) went to couples counseling and it was a disaster; I did get a divorce after 31 years of abuse. Unfortunately some therapists (who aren't well versed in the dynamics of abuse, can miss what is going on.
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Thank you. 
In our case, I want to go to a couples therapist with him first. He asked and needs me to spell out what he does, and his exact and specific behaviors to the therapist. There's no point in him going to individual therapy yet.... I want to go with him, at least for starters. Then maybe he can do individual therapy after a while and once he's far more aware of the problematic behaviors that he exhibits.
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"Twenty-five years and my life is still trying to get up that great big hill of hope for a destination"
~4 Non Blondes
Last edited by Have Hope; Jul 10, 2020 at 07:07 AM.
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