What happened afterwards is far more concerning to me than this incident. My 3yr old called this incident the "small problem". The incident that occurred 20ish min later in his room, as the "big problem".

Dad texted saying she would be sleeping with him for the night. So once the baby was fed to sleep, I went over to his room to check in on her, make sure she was ok, and really did want to sleep there.

I entered the room quietly and she noticed me first. Dad was still texting on his phone. I walked towards her and softly called her name. She was not at all afraid or stressed seeing me walk towards her. Once dad noticed me, he immediately started yelling for me to get out! and not to "take her". He scared the both of us. She began to cry. I kept telling them I was only there to talk with her. He wouldn't listen.

Long story short, he screamed so loud, threatening police, social services, accusations of physical abuse, I'm still shaken up, days later. He was over the top. It was like he was stuck in his own head and playing out a scene that didn't exist. He was scaring all of us, having her believe I was there to "take her away" and later told her he was trying to "protect" her. It's such a distorted scenario. I never raised my voice. I repeatedly said I was just there to talk to HER.

At one point dad left the room. I turned to her and softly said, "Hey, it's me, mom" to which she instantly calmed. I wiped her tears. I snuggled with her for a bit. But as soon as dad returned, it all continued.. police, social services, abuse!! What a nightmare. My daughter said THIS was the "big problem". Undoubtedly.

The next day I spoke with her. She asked a lot of questions. I told her I shouldn't have leaned into dad to get him out of the room. He was yelling and I reacted. I told her I shouldn't have closed the door on him in the first place. Him yelling the way he did, scared me. I didn't want to leave her there with him. He said I wasn't respecting her "personal boundary" because I held her and she was believing his stories. I explained what the role of the police was. She gave me a big hug and just sat there holding me.

Dad then "thanked" me for talking with her. I said that was what I was trying to do the night before. He didn't believe me. I told him I repeatedly said I was just there to talk with her. He walked away feeling like I was a nut for saying that. It wasn't a "physical altercation", despite my hands on his ARMS as a means to guide him out. He's blown this scenario completely out of the water.

Now all he talks about since that night, is him feeling REJECTED. That's right. Prior to the incident, I reminded him of a personal boundary. He struggles with boundaries. He took it as a personal rejection and doesn't handle it well. It's why he was unsupportive when he entered the room. It's why he escalated as much as he did. The term "splitting" really does make sense to me.

Now he's all touchy-feely. He cries when I go on a coffee breaks (for 1.5hrs) alone because he says he feels lonely and I'm just trying to get away from him. Um, ya. I'm greatly affected by his actions. My breathing difficulties and cramping have returned. My sleep and eating has been affected.. but all he wants from me is to cuddle and be affectionate. I'm suppose to move forward like a robot and give him what HE needs.

Since covid19, I'm realizing how insecure he is about me doing things apart from him. Unless he has plans with others, then he couldn't care less if I'm on the moon. But it's when he's alone or with the girls, he can't handle it. I need to be accounted for or he feels stressed. He struggles with managing our daughters because all he's thinking about is me, and doing something without him. He gets stuck. I'm trapped.