Quote:
Originally Posted by feileacan
. . . My T has told me that taking and tolerating my anger has been very difficult for him. When I asked what does it mean "difficult", he explained that many times he felt that my anger was really targeting to destroy him and he felt the threat to become fragmented himself by it. He said that most of the times his main job has been to keep himself together, to accept my anger while not letting it destroy him.
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Thanks, feileacan.
I suspect that's what my last T couldn't do -- as I've said before, she said that she didn't "have the emotional resources" to continue. And that (rejection/non-acceptance) DID destroy me, though the original destruction/trauma likely happened long ago.
I'm somewhat/sort of/kind of/maybe OK-ish today, some days at least. But it's been 5 years.
For what it's worth, I suspect that what was destroyed relates to what "should" be, or would have been, an "authentic", separate ego or sense of self. It's interesting that you have been able to separate somewhat from your mother, while still remaining in some contact.