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My thought when I was young was that as we age everything just falls into place. What I didn't realize was that it takes decades of nose-to-the-grindstone hard work to smooth things out, make marriage more than bearable, but actually gratifying. The most important lesson I've learned from marriage - that I try my best to apply to all of life - is not to take anything personally.
It's absolutely fantastic that both of you are putting in a lot of effort toward your marriage and family.
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