This comes to mind, again:
Borderline personality disorder - Symptoms and causes - Mayo Clinic
Quote:
Symptoms
Borderline personality disorder affects how you feel about yourself, how you relate to others and how you behave.
Signs and symptoms may include:
1. An intense fear of abandonment, even going to extreme measures to avoid real or imagined separation or rejection
2. A pattern of unstable intense relationships, such as idealizing someone one moment and then suddenly believing the person doesn't care enough or is cruel
3. Rapid changes in self-identity and self-image that include shifting goals and values, and seeing yourself as bad or as if you don't exist at all
4. Periods of stress-related paranoia and loss of contact with reality, lasting from a few minutes to a few hours
5. Impulsive and risky behavior, such as gambling, spending sprees, binge eating or drug abuse, or sabotaging success by suddenly quitting a good job or ending a positive relationship
6. Suicidal threats or behavior or self-injury, often in response to fear of separation or rejection
7. Wide mood swings lasting from a few hours to a few days, which can include intense happiness, irritability, shame or anxiety
8. Ongoing feelings of emptiness
9. Inappropriate, intense anger, such as frequently losing your temper, being sarcastic or bitter, or having physical fights
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This is why I don't think this is just a case of immaturity and control. He has abusive tendencies that relate to his feelings of emptiness, rejection, image preservation, and need for control. Luckily, the DBT workbook he's been working on was originally designed for people with BPD. It could be why I've been seeing positive results.
How does someone in my position cope through this? How can I keep myself in check when he's exhibiting these behaviours, so I don't rock the boat, myself? I know I added to the problem this time. How do I manage without feeling angry and guarded from it?
Can someone explain what #3 means?