I don't think anyone should be spoken to disrespectfully, even T's. If he can't talk to you, can't get a conversation going without your alter telling him he's full of crap, what do you want him to do? I think with all that time under you all's belt the relationship isn't necessarily damaged, he's just letting your alter(s) know they can't behave that way, can't treat him that way. He's modeling fine assertive boundary behavior. He isn't paid enough to take crap.