Quote:
Originally Posted by Have Hope
His accusations and threats were totally unacceptable. I would be seething with rage if my husband did that to me. I’d also be divorcing him immediately.
Did you say you are able to go back to work full time again? Can you do that, afford childcare on your own, and kick him out??
You said you feel trapped. You’ve been in this for 6 years and this is how he’s behaving, still and years later. You may see some progress but he’s still behaving very abusively.
If you have the guts and the desire to leave him, I would find a way out. I don’t see this getting better. I see it getting worse. .
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It's only been in the past 2 years that things have escalated. I'd say about 4-5 times where I felt completely beside myself. He has never threatened police or social services before.
In our last episode last month, where there was an escalation (not in front of the girls) it was over another boundary to do with our daughter. He gave me 10 things he had concerns with about my parenting. "Abuse" was not one of them. I spoke to a parenting specialist and she concluded I was not at all doing anything inappropriate. I emailed him her responses in which he responded with, "Ok." He then said he'd book an app, too, to get a second opinion from someone else.. and he attended. Not a single word about her feedback. It tells me I'm NOT mishandling my children, causing a wedge between their bonding, or "damaging" them in the way he accused me of.
I'm unable to return to work until Feb. 2021. It's all to do with technicalities. I'm unable to leave this relationship and my plan is to take the next unit available. We live in a very expensive city and there are financial obstacles for me.
He will undoubtedly fight for 60% custody to claim child support, child tax, and other government refunds. I think this is true because he's just filed for personal bankruptcy and can't afford to live financially independently. This scares me A LOT. If I were to leave, it would have to be at a time we were NOT in a turmoil situation so he'll less likely hang me. It's a very stressful crossroad I'm on.
So for now, I'm having to play into it his way. He's currently love bombing me right now.. hugs and kisses.. filling up his own well. He thinks it's "positive".
But, he didn't once text me during my break away.. and I took a longer break today.