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Originally Posted by MsLady
My baby is only one.
Common law.
In terms of the incident or separation?
Seperate from him. I've already told him that once a unit becomes available, we should really consider what the best option is for our family. I don't drive so if we live in the same cooperative housing, we could both have access to our children daily.. plus swap our dog back and forth. Neither of us can afford living in the city as a single parent. His response was that he wants us to stay together forever.
I'm not worried about his financial situation. I'm worried that because of his financial hardship, he'll likely fight for 60% custody so he can claim child support and child tax, decreasing my income, further.
They have witnessed a few things, yes. I didn't "push" him though. I'm unable to physically move him. But yes, it was wrong of me to do that. My daughter said the incident in dad's room (yelling/threats) was the "big problem" for her. Not only was he loud, he was also scaring her into believing I was doing something wrong. I was only there to talk with her. I was shaking and my voice was shaking and this definitely had an effect on us.
Well I'm already on the internal waitlist for a 1-2 bedroom townhouse. I'm financially unable to do anything right now. The only solution I have is to keep us all busy. Covid19 made that difficult. I'm also understanding him better now and will seek advice on how to support a person with BPD, even if I'm wrong. He definitely exhibits a lot of the characteristics. There is support out there for family members.. I just have to find it.
My career does not offer great wage increases. I've had many raises along the way but the cost of living and increases of union dues, medical, etc, keeps me at the same difference as I always had. So I can't afford to react and hang myself financially. I'm giving myself up to the next 4 years to solidify my situation.
Ya, I've still been following your story. I was glad to hear that.
No, I wouldn't say that. He wants me to fulfill his emotional needs. He supports me a lot, too, with different things. We coparent well, on normal days. These incidences are infrequent. It's just happening more intensely since covid19.
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What I meant was you can consult with lawyers regarding a separation. You can educate yourself on the legalities while coping and figuring it out.
I wouldn't call coming up with a list of 20 things you do wrong in terms of parenting being supportive of you or a good parenting partner with you. I also would not say that him accusing you of abuse, threatening to call child services and the police being supportive of you or coparenting with you well. Children hearing these things is damaging. It is very confusing and scary to a child.
He sounds erratic and volatile. If someone accused me of any of those things AND told his family I was abusive, I would be looking for ways to get a restraining order, take away his parenting rights and kick him out the door.