She does control what she does and whether she wants to hear from you, etc. You could try to force your upset and angry feelings on her, get them off your chest if you wanted, but they're "your" feelings, not hers so while they might make you feel better (or not) they might just make her pull further into her shell or be upset and angry about you giving her your feelings you don't want. She probably doesn't want them either :-)

Let it go for now. The more you focus on it the harder it is for you. Turn away to something else. No one is worth upsetting yourself (and at this point she isn't upsetting you because she's refusing to engage with you!) about like this. You tried.