I really feel your disappointment at his dishonesty. My husband of 33 year left two months ago--10 years ago I caught him in an online relationship, told him we could only stay together if we went to counselling. Once there, he lied--same as yours. This spring I found out he had never stopped the relationship with this woman and that it had become physical for more than half.

When I told him that the lying and deceit were really the most painful part of going through this, he said (and I quote). "I was not lying. I had to keep this secret for my own mental sanity."

What does that even mean????

I understand how sad you must feel and I agree, this kind of lying is cowardice. How are you taking care of yourself during all of this? I have been reading, walking, journaling, and meditating.